6 months on...my reflection on loss

​6 months ago, my otherwise healthy mum passed away from an aggressive cancer that had been diagnosed 4 months earlier. A month before she passed, my beautiful puppy Hugo, 14 years old, passed from complications of cancer. It was a heavy start to 2025.

​The world doesn’t stop moving because we are in grief. So, working out how to live and grieve at the same time comes with plenty of errors, self-compassion and adjustments.

There are times I have wanted to turn away from my complicated feelings of grief and loss. I’ve not always wanted to carry the heaviness. I haven’t always wanted to process the guilt (did I do enough for her?), or the anger (why didn’t that Dr look at her Xray instead of sending her home with antibiotics), or the sadness (I don’t want to go on a walk by myself, I want to see Hugo’s happy waggy tail and see the world with all his innocence and enthusiasm).

But grief calls us to feel. To accept and make space for the painful and complicated emotions of loss. To acknowledge their presence, care for and nurture ourselves while the feelings stay, and express in some way what our grief is trying to say. That is the mourning. Mourning is when we take the emotion and the felt experience of grief, and we turn it outwards. Tears. Journalling. Sharing memories. Holding a piece of their clothing. Having coffee at their favorite cafe. Donating to the RSPCA. Putting up photos. Lighting a candle.

These small but meaningful expressions of loss are our mourning. They are how we keep our loved one close and with us, without being in denial of their loss. We love, we lose, we grieve, then we mourn.

Be your own best friend, Ange

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