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Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a therapeutic framework for establishing vitality in our lives… to bring us to an appreciation of our aliveness, and to choose our actions based on values that establish deep meaning. At its core, ACT proposes that psychological flexibility is the way forward to experiencing this vitality. There are 6 elements of ACT which bind together to form what is known as the ‘hexaflex’… the six-sided diamond of psychological flexibility.  Each of these six areas (mindfulness, core values, committed action, self-as-context, thought defusion, and acceptance) can be summarized into a triflex… Three overarching areas to focus your personal development:
 When I consider the truly valuable decisions I have made in my life, those which had important consequences for myself and others, or have created a significant shift in my world, they are due to these factors. The ability to be mindful, to notice myself, to understand my values and act accordingly, to accept the presence by opening up to the unwanted instead of resisting the unwanted, and to understand my thoughts to be observed rather than clutched, these are the abilities which have allowed me to live a peaceful and meaningful life.
If you are in therapy, I encourage you to discuss psychological flexibility with your therapist. If you can’t do therapy, or don’t want to right now, there are loads of great resources to begin understanding (and importantly, applying) for your psychological flexibility. Be present, do what matters, open up. Be your own best friend, Ange __________________________________________________________ The sciency / resources bits: Flourish Mindfully resources (images supplied by flourish mindfully) ACT made simple, Dr Russ Harris ACT resources ACT is effective for reduction of depression ACT is effective for reducing anxiety ACT improves quality of life symptoms and some chronic health conditions ACT can assist with parenting by improving adaptive parenting strategies, lowering stress, reducing harshness and improving family cohesion Mindfulness (used in ACT framework) is associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction
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The ability to tolerate uncertainty is a skill that supports our well being, and assists us to manage feelings of anxiety. This skill isn't necessarily something which arrives naturally to us as for the most part, our brain is wired to anticipate future events, and determine threats, so uncertainty is usually an uncomfortable place. However, it is guaranteed we will experience uncertainty in our lives... whether it is waiting to hear about a job we have applied for, waiting for a blood test report, not knowing where our next house will be, anticipating if our love is requited, or wanting to know when the death of a loved one who we are caring for will arrive... we are all going to face uncertainty.
LOW TOLERANCE TO UNCERTAINTY MIGHT LOOK LIKE:
These responses are associated with anxiety/anxiety related disorders, low levels of self-compassion and poor overall wellbeing. TOLERANCE TO UNCERTAINTY LOOKS LIKE:
EVIDENCE BASED STRATEGIES TO BUILD TOLERANCE TO UNCERTAINTY
For the first 40 years of my life, I considered self-compassion to be the enemy of my success and wellbeing. Being my own task master felt like the best way to deal with what I considered as inherent laziness, incompetence and lack of intelligence. These were challenges I felt would be overcome if I could critique myself strongly enough. I had very little framework or understanding for how life would look without my inner critic. I felt I would stop all together. This way of thinking was problematic from a number of perspectives… it continually led me down a path of burnout, it meant I did not recognize the abuse and poor treatment of others when it came my way (as it sounded so familiar to how I treated myself), it meant I consistently had poor boundaries with myself and others, and I failed to live a life centered on my values. Like most of us, I wanted a successful, fulfilling life with a peaceful undertone - and my reliance on self-criticism wasn’t tenable for those goals. Let me argue the case for a better way… self-compassion. What it is and what it isn’t: Self-compassion isn’t self-esteem (your evaluation of yourself). Self-compassion also isn’t self-pity. Self-compassion is the state of being aware of, and open to, one’s own suffering rather than avoiding difficult emotions. Then, extending non-judgmental kindness toward yourself, in recognition of the common human experience. We are all in this shit together, we all wrestle, and we are all imperfect. Self-compassion assumes we are ALL worthy of understanding. To avoid falling in to self-pity, true self compassion has three essential components: 1: A kindness to self in response to our suffering 2: Awareness of our common humanity – we do not suffer alone, and we are not imperfect alone; we have a shared human condition 3: Mindfulness: having a non-judgmental, non-catastrophizing approach to our imperfections and difficult life experiences I generally like to take a values-based approach to things in life, and I don’t assume that compassion is an important construct for everyone. One of the reasons I have worked hard to bring self-compassion to my life, is so that I can offer it in a sustainable way to others, because that matters to me. However, they are my values, not yours. What may interest you are some of the other benefits associated with self-compassion…here is what the research says:
So, regardless of whether your values center around your physical health, your relationships, your career, or your personal development, it seems that self-compassion offers something to everyone. Self-compassion is not weakness… it improves inner strength as you now have an internal ally, rather than an internal enemy. Be your own best friend… Ange PS: You might never be rid of your inner critic, but with improved skills in the self-compassion area, that part might get a little quieter and let you get on with the business of life. THIRD PARTY RESOURCES FOR SELF COMPASSION:
The Centre for Mindful Self Compassion Psychology Podcast: Kristen Neff REFERENCES/THE RESEARCH: Self compassion and emotional intelligence Self Compassion and health Self Compassion and coping |
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