What does being over controlled mean?

What does it mean to have an over controlled personality style?
Though self-control is often touted as a much needed and valued trait, there is such a thing as too much self-control. When a person exhibits too much self-control, some therapists describe this as an over-controlled coping style or over controlled personality.

An over controlled person may present with traits such as inhibited emotional expression, rigidity regarding rule following, extreme planning and preparation, inflexibility, perfectionistic tendencies, and even difficulties in empathizing with others. Those who have over controlled coping styles may find the are controlled by rules, sometimes come across as standoffish, commonly engage in social judgement and comparison (associated with jealousy and resentment) and are often excessively vigilant. These traits are dysfunctions are associated with social isolation, high levels of anxiety, and some mental health diagnoses such as treatment resistant depression, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, and anorexia nervosa.
What to do about it? Radically open dialectical behavioural therapy (RODBT) is an emerging evidence-based treatment focusing on addressing these behaviours. RODBT addressed challenges with emotions, loneliness, and assists clients to become more open, relaxed, and connected. The treatment focusses on engagement in self-enquiry to uncover learnings (which may initially be quite uncomfortable), working on social signals and communication, and blends this within an interpersonal therapeutic approach.

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, perfectionism, and rigid rule following to the point that these issues cause you distress, you may want to consider working with a therapist experienced in providing RODBT. For more information, you can explore the links below.
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https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6955577/
https://www.radicallyopen.net/overcontrolled-is-a-term-that-ive-come-to-discover-describes-me-well/  
https://impactpsychcolorado.com/blog1/2019/11/20/do-you-have-an-overcontrolled-style-of-coping

Angela Colson B.PsycSci(Hons), Dip.Couns

Angela is a provisional psychologist working at Motivating Minds in Sydney's south. She is passionat about using evidence based practice to assist people to live their most fulfilling lives possible.