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What would you like from therapy? How would you like life to look different? Its an important question I ask my clients when they first come to see me. We need to establish some direction, and to check if that direction is realistic. The most common answer? ‘I just want to be happy’. Happiness is a subjective emotional state. When studied, humans are notoriously poor at predicting what makes us happy. The World Happiness Report looks at 6 factors which contribute to our life evaluations. These are: GDP per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom, generosity, and absence of corruption. These factors appear to influence an individual’s evaluation of their own happiness. If you want to move to the happiest country on earth, book yourself a ticket to Finland (the top 7 are all held by northern European countries). Australia ranks 12th on these dimensions. Not bad. Pipped at the post by our cousins in New Zealand who come in strong at 8th place. Ancient Greeks had two concepts for happiness… Hedonic happiness (happiness derived from pleasure), and Eudiamonic happiness (happiness derived from meaning and purpose). My interest is in the Greek concept of Eudaimonic happiness. Meaning and purpose doesn’t need to be an all-encompassing passion… you don’t need to write a novel or solve a major world problem. Some days, my meaning and purpose is very granular and simple… I was kind to that person, or I shared my resources in a helpful way. By no means am I dismissive of hedonic happiness. Pleasurable activities, play and spontaneity are part of a well-balanced life, essential ingredients for emotional wellbeing. However, if our goal is to achieve a sense of hedonic happiness most of the time, our expectations may fall short… the reality is, if you check out a feelings wheel, we are simply far too emotionally complicated to sustain a happy emotion all the time. Typically, we measure happiness by checking how satisfied a person is with their life. Knowing your values and making decisions based on those values may be one protective factor in being able to score highly when someone next asks you how satisfied you are with life. For me, a healthy goal would be to maintain a sense of peace in life, regardless of where the happiness needle spins to on your feelings wheel. 
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Motivation is the process that moves us toward goal orientated behaviour. When motivation is low, there can be all sorts of issues… loss of self-esteem, frustration, and just not getting sh*t done, to name a few!
Motivation can be extrinsic (external incentives) and intrinsic (personal, internal incentives eg: joy/curiosity, fear). Whichever form it takes, the loss of motivation, stuckness and peaking of motivation are all perfectly normal human experiences. This may not impact you too much as you go through life, however for some people, loss of motivation, or even feeling hyper focused on a goal can be really impairing. There are loads of strategies to deal with this, but for the purpose of this blog post, I’m going to keep it simple. Here are a few steps to assist when motivation is feeling out of balance, or when you are feeling overwhelmed.
Breaking it down…
If you experience chronic low motivation, you may need to seek advice to assess whether this is mental health related, as issues such as depression, anxiety, and attention deficit can play a significant role in motivational dysregulation. Be kind to you, Ange Extra resource: The Pomodoro Timer This is a question I get asked a lot, so this is a super practical blog post to break down the difference between these two fields and to help you make a decision that is best for you. I’ve also added a pros and cons list: you should note, these are only reflective of my personal opinion. What is a counsellor? A counsellor is a person who helps to guide you through challenges you may be having in your life. Counselling is often based on ‘talk’ therapy – meaning you do a fair bit of talking, and as that happens, hopefully come to some new awareness about yourself or the problems you are facing. Counselling is designed to provide a safe and supportive environment. Pros: tends to be very ‘person’ centred and reflect the unique and individual aspects of the client and their problems. Can be less expensive than psychology. Cons: Is not currently supported by a Medicare rebate, does not always use evidence based practice, is not a strictly regulated as psychology. What is a Psychologist? The term “psychologist” is a protected discipline, meaning you must have a degree in psychology, at least 6 years training, and be registered by a professional body. Psychologists are specialists who are trained in human behaviour and treating mental health issues. Psychologists can assess, diagnose, and treat individuals with mental health issues. Pros: lengthy training and strong accountability with governing bodies. Trained as scientists and utilise evidence based practice. Currently can receive a rebate for 10 sessions on a mental health care plan (see your local GP for this) for approximately $80. Cons: Can sometimes feel more ‘clinical’ and less personalised. Some psychologists will focus on, for example, providing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, to the exclusion of the personal issues the individual is facing. Can be expensive. Summary: Both counselling and psychology have a lot of to offer. What is most important is that you find the right PERSON to develop a relationship with. Regardless of orientation (what type of philosophy/clinical tools) a counsellor or psychologist uses, feeling connected and comfortable with that person is a high predictor of success (Clarkson, 1995). So, be aware that sometimes it takes a few visits to different people to discover what the best fit is for you. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-98195-000  Loving people well can be a seriously daunting task! Whether it's your partner, your friend, your brother or your children, we all have moments where we get confused by other people's behaviour, or our intentions are taken the completely wrong way! The Five Love Languages helps outline a way of understanding how you give love, and how that is interpreted by others. It takes the premise that we all have a 'language' of love, whether that is physical touch, kind words, spending quality time, doing acts of service, or giving gifts, its important to know both how YOU like to express your love, but also how the recipient receives and understands love. Ever done a job for someone and they've been incredibly grateful? Maybe they are an 'acts of service' person. We love the book and think that even though it speaks mostly about romantic relationships, that you can take these understandings and apply them to all your relationships... enjoy! The Five Love Languages  Sometimes we do things and we don't really understand why... or others struggle to understand our intentions. If you haven't already done personality testing, it can be a really useful tool to helping you work out what motivates you and energises you in life! Are you an introvert who needs some space? Are you someone who loves to tackle a complicated challenge? Do you love to play, or do the trivialities of life irritate you? Do you thrive on your environment constantly changing? All these things are part of what makes up our personality. This is by no means a comprehensive test, but just a simple little tool that can help you get started. Take your free personality test here.  |
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