Don't call it an affair: Clergy sexual abuse and how it impacts adult victims.

power
noun
“The capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.”

Within church culture, there has been a long history of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, many victims have had their lives left in tatters after the shattering experience of a trusted, influential, and powerful person taking such advantage of their position.

Recently, there has been much in the media regarding child victims of sexual abuse in the church. Fortunately, the Royal Commission has shed light and given a voice to many of these victims.

One of the very misunderstood and overlooked populations of church sexual abuse victims are those who are abused as adults. It is estimated that in an average 400-strong church community in the US, 32 people will have been victims of clergy sexual misconduct (Chaves & Garland, 2009). In their study on clergy sexual abuse of adults, Chaves & Garland found that since turning 18, 3.1% of all female congregants reported a sexual advance from a married leader of the church. In the light of this year’s #metoo campaign, it is noteworthy that a silent pool of church victims is yet to be acknowledged.

Unfortunately, these victims are often shunned by the church community, and labelled as trouble makers, seducers or traitors of the church. Language, such as 'misconduct' or 'stumbling', distances the abusive behaviour from reality, but not calling it out for what it is. There is great disparity between the view of onlookers and the experience of the victim. One of the key reasons for this is the misunderstanding surrounding the question of consent between pastors/counselors/priests and their congregants. Here are some of the issues to consider:

• Church leaders are in a position of power.

Like many community roles, such as teachers, doctors, and psychologists, church leaders/church counsellors/priests have a unique position of power over those whom they serve. This power is only further enhanced by what many would describe as a God given position (see point 3). Being in a position of power means that a person is automatically both more likely to agree with you, and less likely to advocate for themselves.  We need only to look at Stanley Milgram's experiments on authority to see that, on average, 60% of every day, average people, will give someone a deathly electric shock if instructed by a person of authority (google it!). This holding of a position of power creates an ethical obligation on behalf of the empowered person, to ensure that they never use their power for their own personal gain, particularly at the expense of the other, and especially in a sexual way. Further, the position of power draws in to question the ability for the other to make clear, consenting decisions. 

• Often the victims are vulnerable.

Those who seek the support of church leaders are often, by their very nature, in a place of vulnerability. People will commonly go to their church leaders and disclose the most intimate details of their lives, offering trust that they have never offered to anyone else. They may need support in their lonely or abusive marriage, for struggles with sexuality, for guidance on major life decisions, or look to for comfort in times of grief and loss. This vulnerability often goes hand in hand with mental health difficulties, such as depression and anxiety. So, a combination of these mental health issues, life challenges and vulnerabilities makes sexual contact an abuse, and any consent to sexual behavior murky, at best.

• God trumps everything.

For those who have been raised in a church, the authority of God is seen as absolute. And those who work in church are often viewed as God’s representative of that authority. There is commonly an unspoken rule to not question those who speak from the pulpit. Powerful words like “God told me…”, or “Jesus has put me in your life because…” are often used against victims of sexual assault to further confuse and imbalance the relationship. These types of manipulations increase a person’s vulnerability to doubting their own instincts or intuition. Someone put under this type of pressure is also less likely to stand up for themselves, as submission to the ‘will of God’ is critical to remaining in favour. So now a layer of spiritual abuse is added to the sexual abuse. 

These three areas – power, vulnerability and the authority of God are some of the key reasons why consent for sexual activity between a pastor and parishioner is impossible.

​So, what happens when an adult is a victim of clergy sexual abuse? As you would expect, the consequences are devastating and often life-long, including:

• Loss of church community, faith & social networks
• Emotional turmoil, emotional detachment & cognitive confusion
• Financial loss due to inability to work
• Hypervigilance, fear, shame and rage
• Isolation and emptiness
• Guilt and self-blame
• Sexual dysfunction & broken sexuality
• Mistrust of authority
• Depression
• Self-harm
• Suicide

For more information on adults abused by clergy, you can go here Adults Abused by Clergy and here Clergy Sexual Misconduct

If this post has caused you emotional difficulties, and you feel you need support, please make use of the following resources:

Lifeline 13 11 14
Beyond Blue 1300 224 636

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