|
What is Trauma?
Trauma is an emotional response to a difficult event. Every person will have a different way of viewing events in their life, and every person will also have different responses to trauma. Trauma, however, indicates an event which someone finds very stressful. Some examples of trauma might include witnessing or being in an accident, being exposed to violence, or experiencing a natural disaster. Some people may even find the experience of lockdown during a Covid-19 pandemic traumatic. Trauma does not result in PTSD. There is a misconception that PTSD is very common, but the evidence actually supports that most people are resilient to traumatic events, when the right factors are in place. Not every stressful event will result in trauma. Trauma can be broadly categorized in three ways: acute, chronic, and complex trauma.
What are some signs of Trauma? Because trauma is an emotional response, there will be a range of different experiences that people have to trauma. Emotions are also linked to our body, so people who experience trauma may also have physical experiences at the same time. Some common emotional/psychological responses to trauma include:
Some common physical responses to trauma include:
What is a Flashback? A flashback occurs, when re ‘re experience’ the traumatic event, even though it is no longer happening. Flashbacks may include:
Because trauma can affect memory, sometimes during a traumatic event, memories do not process efficiently. The brain is also wired to protect us from future trauma, so flashbacks are often ‘triggered’ by something which reminds the brain of the past traumatic event. Flashbacks can happen for a very short moment or can go on for a long period of time. Flashbacks are a way of reminding a person of what has happened by activating protective mechanisms. These mechanisms are a way of keeping a person safe, although they are involuntary, and can sometimes become disruptive and distressing. What will my trauma be like? Each person’s way of responding to trauma will be completely unique. The meaning a person makes of the event, combined with past traumatic experiences, physical wellbeing, and personality will all contribute to a person’s trauma response. Research suggests that all people have different pre-existing vulnerability to stress, so that means each person will respond differently. The most important things are that a person doesn’t negatively evaluate their responses, and that they notice changes in normal ways of feeling or behaving. Why do we need to debrief traumatic events? Research has established that providing immediate post-traumatic support assists in people to:
Ideally, a trauma should be debriefed between two and ten days after the event. References American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition. Campfield, K.M., & Hills, A.M. (2001). Effect of timing of critical incident stress debriefing (CISD) on posttraumatic stress symptoms. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 14(2). http://web.a.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.navitas.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=1&sid=42ffdc55-b59c-46db-8289-9780c835be1d%40sdc-v-sessmgr03 Creamer, M. C., Varker, T., Bisson, J., Darte, K., Greenberg, N., Lau, W., et al. (2012). Guidelines for peer support in high-risk organisations: an international consensus study using the Delphi Method. Journal Trauma Stress 25(1), 134–141. DOI: 10.1002/jts.21685 Macdonald, B., Salomons, T.V., Meteyard, L., & Whalley, M.G. (2018). Prevalence of pain flashback in posttraumatic stress disorder arising from exposure to multiple traumas or childhood traumatization. Canadian Journal of Pain, 2(1), 45-56. DOI 10.1080/24740527.2018.1435994 Mitchell, J. T. (1983). When disaster strikes – the critical incident stress debriefing process. J. Emerg. Med. Serv. 8, 36–39. Richins, M.T., Gaunlett, L., Noreen, T., Hesketh, I., Weston, D., Carter, H., & Amlot, R. (2020). Early post-trauma interventions in organizations: A scoping review. Frontiers in Psychology, 11(1), 1164-1078. DOI: 10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01176 Scheeringa, M.S. (2020). Reexamination of diathesis stress and neurotoxic stress theories: A qualitative review of pre-trauma neurobiology in relation to posttraumatic stress symptoms. DOI: 10.1002/mpr.1864 Spencer, S.A., Nolan, J.P., Osborn, M. & Georgiou, A. (2019). The presence of psychological trauma symptoms in resuscitation providers and an exporation of debriefing practices. Resuscitation, 142, 175-181. DOI:10.1016/j.resuscitation.2019.06.280 Weiss, D.S., & Marmar, C.R. (1997). The Impact of Event Scale-Revised. In J.P. Wilson, & T.M. Keane (Eds.), Assessing Psychological Trauma and PTSD: A Practitioner’s Handbook (pp. 399-411). Guilford Press.
0 Comments
What does it mean to have an over controlled personality style? Though self-control is often touted as a much needed and valued trait, there is such a thing as too much self-control. When a person exhibits too much self-control, some therapists describe this as an over-controlled coping style or over controlled personality. An over controlled person may present with traits such as inhibited emotional expression, rigidity regarding rule following, extreme planning and preparation, inflexibility, perfectionistic tendencies, and even difficulties in empathizing with others. Those who have over controlled coping styles may find the are controlled by rules, sometimes come across as standoffish, commonly engage in social judgement and comparison (associated with jealousy and resentment) and are often excessively vigilant. These traits are dysfunctions are associated with social isolation, high levels of anxiety, and some mental health diagnoses such as treatment resistant depression, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, and anorexia nervosa. What to do about it? Radically open dialectical behavioural therapy (RODBT) is an emerging evidence-based treatment focusing on addressing these behaviours. RODBT addressed challenges with emotions, loneliness, and assists clients to become more open, relaxed, and connected. The treatment focusses on engagement in self-enquiry to uncover learnings (which may initially be quite uncomfortable), working on social signals and communication, and blends this within an interpersonal therapeutic approach. If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, perfectionism, and rigid rule following to the point that these issues cause you distress, you may want to consider working with a therapist experienced in providing RODBT. For more information, you can explore the links below. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6955577/ https://www.radicallyopen.net/overcontrolled-is-a-term-that-ive-come-to-discover-describes-me-well/ https://impactpsychcolorado.com/blog1/2019/11/20/do-you-have-an-overcontrolled-style-of-coping Angela Colson B.PsycSci(Hons), Dip.CounsAngela is a provisional psychologist working at Motivating Minds in Sydney's south. She is passionat about using evidence based practice to assist people to live their most fulfilling lives possible.  STONEWALLING… WHAT IS IT AND WHY IS IT SO TOXIC? All relationships experience degrees of conflict at one time or another. How we navigate these conflicts though, is often predictive of the success of our relationships. The Gottman Institute describes 4 ‘Horsemen’ of relationships and how they might signal trouble when it comes to healthy communication. These four horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. In today’s blog, we will take a look at stonewalling… what it is, and why its SO toxic. Stonewalling is generally described as creating distance and separation in a relationship through withdrawing and closing down communication. This is usually done as a way to avoid conflict. Stonewalling is often a response to overwhelm… so disengagement feels like the best option. However, this response can actually increase stress and negative hormonal responses for both parties, the one shutting down, as well as the one being shut out. Imagine if someone built an ACTUAL wall in front of you… not just a metaphorical one. You could no longer hear them, understand them, see, feel, or touch them. This is what metaphorically happens with stonewalling. Generally speaking, men are more likely to be stonewallers in a relationship, and women more likely to stay engaged. However, if a female in heterosexual relationship is a stonewaller, this is highly predictive of divorce. If you’re stonewalling someone, you’re likely to be doing the following:
Stonewalling can go beyond just feeling hurtful or frustrating, some say it is a form of abuse. Consistently stonewalling someone can a sense in the other that they have no value. It has an impact on their well being and self-esteem. Common feelings include worthlessness, powerlessness, and hopelessness. Usually, if there has been significant stonewalling in the relationship, the person will need mental health support. Whilst the intent may not be malicious, the results of stonewalling are similar to that of emotional abuse, that is, it is demeaning, disrespectful, and devaluing of the person being stonewalled. Consider this horseman… are you hurting yourself or others with stonewalling behavior? References: Arangua, M. (2019). Is stonewalling a form of abuse? https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/is-stonewalling-a-form-of-abuse/ Lisitsa, E. (n.d.). The four horsemen: The antidotes. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/  This is a question I get asked a lot, so this is a super practical blog post to break down the difference between these two fields and to help you make a decision that is best for you. I’ve also added a pros and cons list: you should note, these are only reflective of my personal opinion. What is a counsellor? A counsellor is a person who helps to guide you through challenges you may be having in your life. Counselling is often based on ‘talk’ therapy – meaning you do a fair bit of talking, and as that happens, hopefully come to some new awareness about yourself or the problems you are facing. Counselling is designed to provide a safe and supportive environment. Pros: tends to be very ‘person’ centred and reflect the unique and individual aspects of the client and their problems. Can be less expensive than psychology. Cons: Is not currently supported by a Medicare rebate, does not always use evidence based practice, is not a strictly regulated as psychology. What is a Psychologist? The term “psychologist” is a protected discipline, meaning you must have a degree in psychology, at least 6 years training, and be registered by a professional body. Psychologists are specialists who are trained in human behaviour and treating mental health issues. Psychologists can assess, diagnose, and treat individuals with mental health issues. Pros: lengthy training and strong accountability with governing bodies. Trained as scientists and utilise evidence based practice. Currently can receive a rebate for 10 sessions on a mental health care plan (see your local GP for this) for approximately $80. Cons: Can sometimes feel more ‘clinical’ and less personalised. Some psychologists will focus on, for example, providing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, to the exclusion of the personal issues the individual is facing. Can be expensive. Summary: Both counselling and psychology have a lot of to offer. What is most important is that you find the right PERSON to develop a relationship with. Regardless of orientation (what type of philosophy/clinical tools) a counsellor or psychologist uses, feeling connected and comfortable with that person is a high predictor of success (Clarkson, 1995). So, be aware that sometimes it takes a few visits to different people to discover what the best fit is for you. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-98195-000  Recently, a client said something quite disturbing to me. I hear a lot of fairly disturbing things during sessions… life is full of suffering and hardship, and so it is difficult to shock me. Here is what she said that made me jolt back in my seat… “I’ve seen a lot of counsellors, but none of them have ever been kind to me about my story, I’ve always been judged”. Um... say what? As a counsellor, part of my job, in fact a very big part of my job, is to model empathy and kindness to clients. And why is that important? So that they can potentially offer it back to themselves. It can be nearly impossible to move forward in life when there is a harsh and judgmental voice inside your head, criticising you and demanding of you. Offering kindness to others can sometimes open a small gateway for their own self compassionate voice to be heard. And when we speak kindly inside our own heads, we encourage ourselves to move forward in an engaged way with life, without dragging around the burden of our self-critic. So, speak kindly to you…you need the encouragement not just from others, but also from yourself.  Control – does it matter? Why do so many people seek it? Humans have a unique ability that the rest of the animal kingdom doesn’t have to contend with: we can contemplate the future. This is an amazing skill which helps us to plan, invent, celebrate, and bring our goals to life. It also helps us weigh the consequences of our choices. For example, if we are planning on going out and having a few drinks with friends, we can anticipate that we will need to organise transport home. This ability to contemplate the future also comes with a dark side. It feeds our biological wiring for anxiety. For some, that anxiety becomes incredibly out of control and dominates daily living. Our minds can fill with dread at all the terrible things that ‘could’ or ‘might’ happen. We can expend huge amounts of energy in the future, and miss what is happening in the present. One way to soothe this anxiety is to try and control our environment, to put everything we can possibly think of in place to mitigate the many disasters we have constructed in our mind. But this can become pretty exhausting, and given the randomness of the world, it means we are outsourcing our peace of mind to chance. So, what to do? Firstly, understand what is happening. This ability of your brain serves both to protect you and to enhance your life. So understand it. Be thankful for it. But don’t let it be in charge. You can access this part of yourself when you need it, but nobody really needs and anxious controlling person over their shoulder all day. That’s exhausting. Secondly, find ways to soothe your body. Being in an anxious state sets of all sorts of physiological reactions in your autonomic nervous system, including appetite changes, increased heart rate, and increased perspiration. Mindfulness meditation is a known antidote to these issues, and helps to soothe and calm your agitated state. Thirdly, come to peace with the chaos of the world. If you have done good, solid work on yourself, the chances are you will feel more confident about your ability to handle what the world might throw at you. Be prepared, but not in an anxious, controlling way – be prepared in a grounded, stable way. The kind of stability that leaves you knowing whatever life throws at you, you will be ok. Work on what goes on inside of you, instead of what goes on outside of you. Don’t outsource your peace of mind. Lastly, know your limits. If you have battled anxiety for a long time, you might need to seek professional help. You might need to see your GP. There could be any number of interventions and support that can help. Eliminate any shame you might have around seeking support… after all, if you wanted to run a marathon, you wouldn’t hesitate to get a personal trainer or a marathon specialist to help you. And life is a marathon, so don’t do it alone.  power noun “The capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.” Within church culture, there has been a long history of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, many victims have had their lives left in tatters after the shattering experience of a trusted, influential, and powerful person taking such advantage of their position. Recently, there has been much in the media regarding child victims of sexual abuse in the church. Fortunately, the Royal Commission has shed light and given a voice to many of these victims. One of the very misunderstood and overlooked populations of church sexual abuse victims are those who are abused as adults. It is estimated that in an average 400-strong church community in the US, 32 people will have been victims of clergy sexual misconduct (Chaves & Garland, 2009). In their study on clergy sexual abuse of adults, Chaves & Garland found that since turning 18, 3.1% of all female congregants reported a sexual advance from a married leader of the church. In the light of this year’s #metoo campaign, it is noteworthy that a silent pool of church victims is yet to be acknowledged. Unfortunately, these victims are often shunned by the church community, and labelled as trouble makers, seducers or traitors of the church. Language, such as 'misconduct' or 'stumbling', distances the abusive behaviour from reality, but not calling it out for what it is. There is great disparity between the view of onlookers and the experience of the victim. One of the key reasons for this is the misunderstanding surrounding the question of consent between pastors/counselors/priests and their congregants. Here are some of the issues to consider:
These three areas – power, vulnerability and the authority of God are some of the key reasons why consent for sexual activity between a pastor and parishioner is impossible. So, what happens when an adult is a victim of clergy sexual abuse? As you would expect, the consequences are devastating and often life-long, including:
If this post has caused you emotional difficulties, and you feel you need support, please make use of the following resources: Lifeline 13 11 14 Beyond Blue 1300 224 636  Sometimes it can be difficult to identify if you are in an abusive situation… particularly when you love the person you are with, and they express love to you. Here are 6 signs you might be in a cycle of abuse:
If these sound familiar, you may want to look into understanding the cycle of abuse a bit more. You can find details here: CYCLE OF ABUSE Remember, abuse doesn’t always equal violence… you can be emotionally, sexually and financially abused as well. If this post has left you feeling unstable, or like you need support, please reach out for help. Important contacts: 1800 respect: 1800 737 732 www.1800respect.org.au Lifeline: 131114 www.lifeline.org.au Relationships Australia 1300 364 277 www.relationships.org.au You can also contact your local police station and speak with a Domestic Violence Liaison Officer (DVLO). A DVLO will: -Provide you with information about the Apprehended Violence Order process -Support victims of domestic and family violence through the court process -Assist victims to access other relevant local support services www.domesticviolence.nsw.gov.au/get-help/police  So, what is co-dependency all about? Co-dependency occurs in relationships where the unhealthy behavior/relationship dynamics of one person are supported by the other person in the relationship. Your identity, emotional stability and happiness is intrinsically connected to the other person. This dynamic can create uncomfortable feelings such as fear of abandonment, guilt, anxiety and loss of self… not things you want to feel in a functional relationship! Don’t make the mistake of thinking that co-dependency is limited to intimate relationships…this problem can extend to friendships, family dynamics and even workplaces. Here are 6 things to look for that might show some co-dependency: You feel guilty. This can occur because you have placed the needs of others above your own, you feel the need to pacify/please others and may have lost a sense of what you want, or the guilt of doing what you want prevents you from doing it. You feel jealous. If you are co-dependent, you may have found significant value in being an important person in the other’s life. You may even feel you are the best person for them to be around, or the best person to support them in all aspects of their life. So, if they spend time with others, you may feel jealous, or as though you are being set aside for a better option. You feel overly responsible. Sometimes in a co dependent relationship, it can be difficult to identify where you finish and they other person begins, which can make it hard to work out what is your responsibility, and what is the other person’s responsibility. This can lead to you wanting to fix any negative emotions they might experience. You have a hard time identifying what you need. If you’ve been overly focused on what the other person needs, you may have forgotten what you need altogether, which can feel quite lonely. You fear abandonment. Because you may have wrapped up a lot of your self-worth and identity in others, you may fear abandonment… if they leave, what happens to your sense of self? This constant fear can drive behavior, like dishonesty, which can cause further destruction to the relationship. You continually seek out approval. When your identity is fragile, it is difficult to see yourself outside of other’s opinions. Seeking approval is often comforting in co-dependent relationships because it eases anxiety around abandonment. What to do?
 |
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed